…At Least They Get You Drunk.

If you watch any amount of TV, odds are you’ve seen a beer commercial or two. They’re all over the place, and they’re all annoying, but there are a few brands in particular that I have some problems with.


First up, we have Budweiser, or more specifically, Bud Light. Its been said before, but its so stupid, I am inclined to carry on. Its slogan “Drinkability”, which I assume they think is clever (Budweiser Marketing Rep: “Look Mommy, we make pretty word!”) is all over TV, and it’s aggravating as hell. Why would you have your main advertising slogan be the least complimentary thing you could say about your product? “Hey, what do you think of Bud Light?” “Eeeehhh… it’s drinkable.” Do you see what I’m talking about?! Absurd right? That’s all for Bud Light, so let’s move on.

Silver Bullet

Silver Bullet

The second beer brand I have an issue with is Coors (or “The Silver Bullet”, as its known to idiots) with Coors Light. These guys have skipped letting their customers know that its drinkable, and instead ascended to the slightly higher plane of letting us know that it’s cold. Why would you have your marketing campaign focus on the most common aspect amongst you and your competing company’s products? It’s like starting a designer t-shirt company, and making your marketing slogan “They’re folded”. The commercials say that Coors Light is brewed, stored, and shipped at a constant temperature of 37 degrees, so enjoy Coors Light, because its 37 degrees cold! You know what else is that cold, Coors Light? Everything else in my fridge!


But they didn’t stop at telling us it’s cold; they took it one step further by showing us that it’s cold. The “Cold Activated” labels on all cans and bottles of Coors Light have little mountains that turn a pretty shade of blue when the beer is cold, so that you can check if the beer is cold. You know how I check if my beer is cold? I fucking touch it. That usually works.

This third and final issue that I have, seems like I’m nitpicking now that I’m thinking about it more, but I’ll say it anyways and let you decide. Miller Lite has this new commercial that has been getting a lot of TV time lately, where this guy at a bar orders a Miller Lite, and the whole commercial is us watching this beer get poured, with old school football play-by-play over it. My problem with this, is that the beer is just dumped into the glass. That is not how you poor a god damn beer! It’d get so god damn foamy, and subsequently flat, and that’s not anyway to drink beer. I told you, I’m nitpicking a bit, but it’s all in the details, right?

Picture 1

Well that’s it, thanks for reading.

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